Be Good to Yourself Tomorrow and Real Love

Last year was the first Mother's Day I had after I was able to put an NPD description to my NM.  Also, last Mother's Day was one I will always remember for me as feeling the most incredible joy and love from my DH and children.  I felt extremely fragile last year and the true love at my house meant even more to me last year than ever.

I was married for many years before DH and I had children.  Just about every Mother's Day I would leave my DH alone and travel 3 hours or so to spend a night and be with my NM and many times my brother was there too and we'd take her out to brunch and of course I brought a gift.  My NM loved the image of her and us out to brunch.  It was always so uncomfortable for me.

Then I became a mother and DH and I have done our own thing on Mother's Day but I would always send a card AND a gift (I have to say I feel fortunate in  many ways not living nearby by NM but also feel like it prolonged my realization of how things truly were/are).

Not once in my 14 years of being a mom has my NM ever said Happy Mother's Day to me.

Around 2.5 years ago, after realizing my NM does not think twice to betray me, I have acted more real.  But there is still that "higher road" that I feel...still that decency feeling toward another human being.  So what I did last year was send her a "To Grandmother" card from the kids.  Since the reality is that she doesn't even like me.

Earlier this week I only spent time at one store....but I truly could not even find a suitable card from my kids....other than just picking one that is blank inside.  Which I didn't do.  BTW, this buying of cards has been a depressing chore for years and years.  I usually found one that said "Hope you spend your day doing whatever you love to do" and then she always exclaimed over the pretty purple flowers or whatever.

I saw this one for laughs:

I looked and looked and picked one out for my GM and one easily for my MIL.  But I just didn't feel like picking out a blank one or a generic one for my NM.

I thought maybe we would send an e-card so I looked around online today  But I don't feel like messing around with signing up for an account.  Back to chuckling...check this one out:

We sent my GM a card.  I am sure she is not happy that I have not gone back to visit her so that I can bring her some take-out food.......

It is a tough weekend for many people--at whatever stage one is in during this awakening and path.